


Journey

by theotheralissa



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 08:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2421338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theotheralissa/pseuds/theotheralissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino wakes up in a lazy town on the sea where nothing is as it was before. And he finds out it's not always easy to get back to where you belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [muffinsome](http://archiveofourown.org/users/muffinsome). <333

“You have to get in the boat,” Jun says. 

“I don’t like boats though,” Nino says, looking behind him out to the sea where a single boat is floating just a little way away from the pier. It’s so quiet, there isn’t a sound from the waves against the shore. So when Jun shifts his feet it startles Nino to hear the sound of the sand. 

“Whether you like boats or not,” Jun says. “You have to get on.” 

This is day three. 

Nino has been in this world for three days. 

The man in front of him is unmistakably Jun. He calls himself Jun, walks like Jun, is annoyingly particular just like Jun. But he isn’t Jun. Not the Jun that Nino grew up with anyway. 

When he looks behind Jun at the boat he feels calm and peaceful. Jun keeps telling him to get on the boat - not a day goes by when he doesn’t mention it - but a few days before when Nino had tried to step out onto the pier the waves swirled and crashed into the shore angrily and didn’t let up until Nino stepped off of the pier again. 

Just like Jun isn’t really Jun, the sea also isn’t really the sea. The water is tinged pink and the sky is soft and white. There is no sun on the horizon although in the daytime it’s lighter and at night it grows dark. 

Nino’s full name is Ninomiya Kazunari. He’s from Japan and he’s part of the idol group Arashi. But three days ago he woke up here in a lazy town on the sea. 

He tries using his cell phone, much like he does every day, but the call doesn’t go out. There is a tiny icon in the corner in the shape of a phone. A missed call, a message, but he hasn’t been able to check it. 

“If you won’t go to the boat,” Jun says. “Then at least come with me to the harbor.” 

Nino nods and follows him. At the harbor there are many boats, although Nino knows the one he’s supposed to go to is the one he sees out at sea every day. It’s a black silhouette, lacking details. The boats here in the harbor are complete with ropes, anchors, masts and bows. Decks with things like boxes and buckets. There are leisure boats, diving boats, fishing boats. Nino doesn’t mind looking at these boats,but he can’t go out to sea. 

“I’ll get sick,” he tells Jun. “You’re supposed to know that.” 

“I do know it,” Jun says. 

“Are we done now?” Nino asks. “Can I go home?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jun says. 

On the way back home Nino tries his phone again. He tries to accept the message from the missed call, but it doesn’t go through again just like he expected. 

It’s quiet here. Nino wonders what’s going on back in Tokyo, how Arashi are getting on without him. What have they told his manager? The fans? Maybe his manager sent them all on an extended vacation to this place and he slept through the plane ride. It could happen. It’s happened before. 

His apartment is just like the one back in Tokyo. It’s the only place that doesn’t feel different. His clothes are in the drawers they’re supposed to be in. TVs are all in their places. His games are all in the shelves where they’re supposed to be, but when he tries to turn on the TV to watch a program it’s nothing but static. He lies down on his back on the sofa and starts to play a game on his cell phone. 

Then it rings. 

“Yeah?” Nino answers. 

“Hey,” a muffled voice says. It’s Aiba. “Can I come over?” 

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” Nino says. 

“Ah come on!” Aiba says. “I was working at the dock all day and I just want to have a beer with my best friend!” 

“Past closing time,” Nino says. 

“Come on!!” Aiba says. 

Nino can tell that he’s on the way already, the breeze outside is muffling the sound of Aiba’s voice in the receiver. 

There is a knock at the door. 

Nino lets him in. He can tease this Aiba just like he can that one and when Aiba passes through the door Nino thinks for a minute that it might be that Aiba coming inside. 

“I brought beer!” Aiba says, holding up a convenience store bag. 

“Enough for you, maybe,” Nino says. “I’m going to need way more than that.” 

“Then I’ll go and get more when we run out,” Aiba says, cheerfully. 

He flops down on the sofa next to Nino and opens two beers placing one directly into Nino’s hand. 

“Cheers,” Aiba says, leaning forward to tap his can against Nino’s. 

“Cheers for what?” 

“A job well done,” Aiba says. 

When Nino looks out the window he can’t see anything. Everything is static just like the TV when he tries to turn it on. If he goes outside of the apartment he’ll see that pinkish sea and whitish sky, but the view from the window offers nothing at all. 

Aiba talks about his day out at the docks and how he thinks maybe he pulled something and should probably get to the doctor soon. If he misses any days at work the boss will kill him so he has to get fixed up. 

He talks about his girlfriend and how she got a new dog that’s tearing up her apartment so she brought the dog to _his_ apartment instead and now it’s tearing up everything over there. 

“I just moved!” he says. “Can you believe it? Just moved and now everything is all torn up.” 

Nino laughs. “And I bet you’ll keep putting up with it because she’s pretty.” 

“That’s not the only reason!” Aiba says. “But yeah. Well. I tried to train him a little today. Not sure if it worked out...” 

Nino’s phone vibrates. 

When he was back in Japan he didn’t pay much attention to his phone going off. It could be someone in his family or a friend just saying hello. If it’s his manager they’ll try him again if they miss him the first time. It could be about a million and one spam messages - a discount, a time sale. 

But this time when his phone vibrates reminding him he has a missed call and a message his eyes grow wide and the phone nearly slips out of his hand. 

“You okay?” Aiba asks. 

“Hang on,” Nino says. “I have to get this.” 

There is silence at first. Then he can hear light breathing. Then a voice. 

Not someone else’s voice, but his own. 

“Ohno-san...” he starts. His words are slurred together like he’s been drinking far too much and there is a long silence after the first words. “Ohno-san... you’re sleeping right? This is stupid... and crazy. But I’m in love with you.” 

\---

“How about today?” Jun asks the next day when Nino goes to the beach. 

“Not today,” Nino says. Every day it gets a little easier. The first day Jun insisted on it at every turn. The second day Nino noticed he let up a bit. Today he asks only one time and then doesn’t bring up the topic again. 

Nino looks over at the pier. The boat isn’t out at sea today, it’s tied up there and someone is sitting on the edge wearing a hat and holding a fishing pole. He looks like a silhouette, just like the boat. No details, not from this distance anyway. 

“J do you mind if I...” 

“You want to go say hi to Ohno?” Jun asks. “Go ahead. I have to go to work anyway.” 

Work, Nino thinks. Is Jun still in Tokyo? Are all of them here and in Japan Arashi is nowhere to be found? 

As he approaches the pier, Ohno’s figure starts to come into focus. The boat is anchored behind where he’s sitting, but even as he gets closer the boat seems to move further and further away. It’s just as well. He doesn’t want to go to that boat anyway. 

Against the fluffy, white sky Ohno’s shape is dark and hunched over. He’s looking down at the water, feet dangling over the edge of the pier. He moves suddenly, pulling hard as the end of his fishing pole curves towards the sea. Something is biting and Ohno pulls at it with all of his might. He stands up and pulls harder, turning the reel frantically and on the end of the line a small fish wriggles its way into Ohno’s hand. He looks at it, turns it over once or twice and shrugs. Then he releases it back into the sea. 

Nino steps gingerly onto the wood of the pier. The last time he tried this a storm started building in the sky. This time, though, nothing changes. He goes to the end of the pier and Ohno is waving to him. 

“Nino!” Ohno calls out. “Did you see that?” 

“The fish?” Nino shouts so Ohno can hear him. 

“Yeah!” he says. “It was too small but I’ve been here all day and it’s the first thing I’ve caught. I finally caught something.” 

“So you did,” Nino says, more quietly when he gets close enough for Ohno to hear. 

“Jun told me to see if you’d get on the boat,” Ohno says. 

“Not today.” 

Ohno looks a little disappointed. 

“Someday,” Ohno says, stretching his arms up to the sky then pulling back and rolling his shoulders. He gives his neck a couple of stretches too. 

Then he gets back down on the edge and sits so his feet are dangling off, reaches into the tackle box next to him and puts some bait on the hook. 

Nino sits down next to him. He takes off his sandals so he doesn’t risk one of them falling into the sea. 

“Where are we?” he asks. 

“The pier,” Ohno says. 

“I mean...” Nino says. “What is this place called?” 

“Something Pier,” Ohno says. “I can’t remember the name...” 

“Do you know Arashi?” 

Ohno stands up to cast the line, the when it’s sunk into the water he sits down again. 

“Arashi?” 

“Nevermind,” Nino says. “Can I stay here with you?” 

“Yeah,” Ohno says. 

\---

Aiba suggests that they go to the bookstore. Nino likes being with Aiba because he never suggests going to the boat. Out to the bar to drink, to the mountains for a hike, to Nino’s place to play games, to the bookstore. But never to the boat. 

Sho is stocking magazines when they step past the automatic door and the melody that alerts the shopkeepers that a customer has arrived plays overhead. 

“Sho-chan!” Aiba says, raising a hand in greeting. 

“Aiba-san,” Sho nods. “Nino.” 

“Anything you’re going to throw out today and we can take for free?” Aiba asks, waggling his eyebrows. 

Sho sighs. “You ask that every time,” he says. 

“And every time you tell him you don’t give them away for free right?” Nino asks. 

“Every time,” Sho says. 

“Ah man,” Aiba says. “It’s worth a try, I guess. Can I look at the new manga at least?” 

Sho gestures to the rack with the new books and Aiba goes gleefully. 

“Did you go to the sea today?” Sho asks. 

“If you’re going to ask me about that boat...” 

“Boat?” Sho says. “I mean you smell like you’ve been at the sea.” 

“Oh,” Nino says. “Yeah. I fished with Ohno. Or... he fished and I watched.” 

“Really?” Sho says, looking a little surprised. “He hasn’t been doing that much lately.” 

“Yeah he’s been keeping to himself,” Aiba says, not looking up from his manga. “Staying home a lot. He said he was working on a painting.” 

“What kinds of things does he paint?” Nino asks. 

“All kinds,” Aiba says. “I have a few hanging up in my apartment if you want to see them. Unless that dog has already chewed them all up...” 

Sho laughs. “Still putting up with that for your girlfriend?” 

“It’s not putting up with anything!” Aiba says with a grin. “She’s my girlfriend so I don’t mind.” 

“I can see that,” Nino says, nudging the bottom of Aiba’s jeans with his shoe. One leg is all chewed up just above his sneaker. “New style?” 

“Yes,” Aiba says, proudly. 

Nino laughs and picks up a random manga from the shelf. He doesn’t know it and doesn’t recognize any of these titles at a glance. The cover has some kind of hero on it. QUEST it says in big letters at the top. Nino opens to a random page in the middle. But every page from the front to the back is exactly the same. Completely blank. 

\---

“Not today,” Nino says before Jun can even suggest it. He’s walking on the sand with his bare feet, jeans cuffed and he has a small bag at his side. 

“Oh, the boat?” Jun says. 

“Don’t act like you forgot,” Nino grins. 

“I’m looking for shells,” Jun says. 

“Oh yeah?” Nino asks. He wonders if that Jun would go to the beach like this. He might, but it’s easier to imagine Aiba in the cuffed jeans with a little bag of shells telling Nino cheerfully about his plans for shell hunting. 

“Do you want to go to the park?” Jun asks. But when Nino looks up it isn’t Jun. It’s Aiba. He blinks a few times and rubs his eyes. 

“Was Jun here?” Nino asks. 

He’s getting mixed up. They’re all going to get mixed up and who knows where he’s going to end up. 

His phone vibrates. 

“I didn’t see Jun...” Aiba says. “Do you want this one?” He pulls a shell out of his bag. It’s bright and colorful and looks so fragile that Nino is almost afraid to touch it. 

“Hang on,” he says. 

The missed call comes up again and the message along with it. It could be the same message as before. The one where he told Ohno he loved him. Maybe it’s just as well that message got sent back to his phone. He doesn’t want Ohno to hear it. If Ohno hears it it’s going to get weird or complicated. Ohno is going to tell him “no” or “sorry” or “I’m flattered but” and Nino isn’t going to be able to listen to him saying those words. 

That’s why he can’t tell him, why he can’t know. 

“When you’re ready to go to the boat I’ll take you there,” Jun says. He comes up next to Aiba, now he’s wearing long jeans and a T-shirt with a sweater pulled over it. Now Jun seems like Jun again. 

“What’s going to happen when I go to the boat?” 

“I don’t know,” Jun says. 

“Then why do you know I have to go there?” 

“Because that’s where you need to go,” Jun says. 

“You should listen to him,” Aiba says. “Ouch!” He steps on a shell with a sharp edge and whimpers as he pulls it from his foot. 

“What about Ohno?” Nino asks. 

“He’s painting today,” Aiba says. 

Nino looks over at the pier and today it’s empty. No Ohno, no fishing pole, no boat. 

“Can I go and visit him?” 

“Sure you can,” Jun says. “Just go to his door and knock.” 

Nino takes out his phone, the light is flashing saying that he has a missed call and a mesage. 

“I have to take this,” he says. Jun nods and Aiba crouches down to collect a couple more shells. 

Nino checks the message. It’s a long, long silence. Maybe nothing will be there at all. A long silence but it sounds like someone is there. Someone is there and wants to say something, needs to say something, but can’t find the words. 

It’s Ohno’s voice this time. 

“Can you come over here?” 

\---

Nino doesn’t know this town, but he knows where to go somehow. The streets are unfamiliar, but he knows which way to go. Ohno’s apartment is a small complex at the top of a hill. Nino walks towards the mountains, East and then North, and about twenty minutes later he’s in front of the building. He takes the elevator up to the third floor and he’s right in front of Ohno’s door. 

He’s never been to that Ohno’s place before. That Ohno has never been to his place before either. The message... Ohno asking him to come. Nino isn’t sure if it’s this Ohno or that one. 

He knocks twice and Ohno comes to the door. He’s messy. His hair is everywhere and there is a purple paint smudge on his cheek. He’s wearing a tanktop and loose shorts. No socks. 

“Come in,” he says. 

Nino comes in and his legs feel too wobbly to stand so he sits down on the couch. 

Ohno is standing in front his easel. A large canvas is in front of him, so high that he has to get up on his toes to reach the spots at the top. From this angle, Nino can’t tell what it is that he’s painting. 

“I remembered what it was you were talking about...” Ohno says. 

“Hm?” 

“Arashi,” Ohno says. “You asked if I knew.” 

Nino sits up straight on the couch. “Do you know?” 

“I heard it somewhere,” he says. He dips his paintbrush into the pallette and swipes a long brushstroke across the canvas. It’s a half circle motion like he’s painting a rainbow. 

“What did you hear about it?” 

“I don’t know,” Ohno says. “It’s like I can’t remember.” 

“I remember Arashi,” Nino says. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s...” Nino says. “Somewhere I want to go back to.” 

“Don’t you live here?” 

“I do now,” Nino says. “But I lived there before.” 

“What was there?” 

Nino shrugs. “Lots of things.” 

“There aren’t that many things here,” Ohno says. “But I like it like that.” 

Nino smiles. He doesn’t want to speak now, he just wants to watch the way Ohno paints. 

_Can you come over here?_ Ohno’s voice from the message echoes in Nino’s head. It was that Ohno. Not this one. Who is this one? 

He watches the way Ohno’s arm moves purposefully. He’s never seen that Ohno paint before and he wonders if it would look exactly like this. Ohno isn’t a tall guy but right now his arms seem to extend to any length he needs them to. The paintbrush swipes across the pallette with precision and every stroke of the canvas looks like it was meant to be there long before. 

“I’m in love with someone like you,” Nino says quietly. So quietly that no one can possibly hear him. 

“There,” Ohno says, turning the easel so that Nino can see it. 

It’s a thousand shells. 

\---

He has to go to the boat. 

The moment the thought enters his mind, Jun is at his side. 

“Are you ready?” he asks. 

“No,” Nino says. “I’m never going to be ready. I hate boats.” 

“This isn’t going to be easy,” Jun says. 

Nino sighs. “I get that feeling.” 

“But I’ll be with you up until the pier,” Jun says. 

“And then?” 

“You have to go by yourself.” 

Jun walks next to Nino and when they reach the pier Nino feels something like an electric current under his skin. 

“I feel sick already...” 

“Even if you get sick it’s okay,” Jun says. 

“What if I don’t go in?” 

“Then you’ll stay here.” 

“I’ll just live here like this? With you guys?” 

“Yes but,” Jun says. “I think there is somewhere else you’d rather be.” 

He could stay here. With the beach and the sky. He could stay in his apartment that looks like home and he could watch Ohno fish and watch him paint and go drinking with Aiba. He could stay here just like this. 

But he takes a step onto the pier. He feels that electric feeling under his skin again. 

The boat comes into view and he can see the details of it now. It’s white and red. It’s weathered and there are nets and nettings hanging off of the edges. It looked different as a silhouette. The real boat is a little old and sad. 

Nino climbs up the steps and onto the deck. There is a door that leads down to the second level and there is something waiting for him inside. He looks back and Jun is still standing there where the pier meets the sand. He nods and Nino keeps going. 

He opens the door. 

_This is stupid... and crazy. But I’m in love with you._

It’s Ohno’s room. That Ohno. Not smudged with paint, but sleepy. That Nino is standing against the door, leaning like he can’t quite bring himself to come all the way inside. Ohno is close to him. Both of them look tired. 

I must be this Nino, he thinks, watching from the corner like a ghost. Neither of them can see him. 

It’s hard to tell if time has stopped or if they’ve both just stopped moving. 

“That message...” that Nino says, breaking the silence. That Ohno stands as still as a statue. 

Nino pushes himself from the door, turns like he’s going to leave again. 

“It was a joke, you know, like whatever I’m drunk I don’t even know why I came here--” 

“I’m sorry,” Ohno says. 

It takes some time for the words to travel from Ohno’s lips to where Nino is standing. 

“It’s a joke,” Nino says. “I’m kidding.” 

Nino feels that electric shock again and it looks like that Nino feels it too, groping for the doorknob, just needing to find a way out. 

_Sorry._

Ohno doesn’t say it again but the word echoes through the room and it’s sharp, physical. Everything they did, the five of them. Everything they fought for and worked for. Everything they did together, everything they loved together, everything they struggled with together. Everything. 

The Nino in the corner of the room feels the electricity biting at his skin, echoing in his ears. It’s too noisy, too much. That Nino walks out the door and that Ohno doesn’t do anything to stop him, standing like he’s glued to the spot on the floor. 

Nino wants to chase after him, but no one can see him or hear him. He can scream and it won’t matter. He is this Nino and that Nino and when Ohno told him _Sorry_ it was the one word he couldn’t hear. 

\---

He’s on the beach now. 

Bare toes in the sand. 

“I’ll stay here,” he says. Aiba is sitting right next to him digging up a sand pile with his heels. 

“Really?” Aiba says, grinning ear to ear. “Really you’ll stay?” 

“Yeah,” Nino smiles. 

_Sorry_ , he thinks, to Tokyo. To Arashi. But he can’t go back when he has so thoroughly fucked everything up. 

“It’s a heartbeat,” Aiba says. 

“What?” 

“When you walk out the door,” Aiba says. “The time between the heartbeat, it’s a short time.” 

Nino looks down at his feet. They’re completely buried in the sand so all he can see are his ankles. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You came here,” Aiba says. 

“I don’t know how.” 

“You came here to see us,” Aiba says. 

It’s getting frustrating to talk to him. He’s not really this Aiba or that Aiba, but when he looks up again he’s not Aiba at all. 

“You told him,” Jun says. “You told him and he said no.” 

“And it’s okay!” Aiba says. “It’s just a word. Words are just things that don’t have to hurt. Ask Sho-chan, he knows all about words!” 

Sho nods from behind Aiba. 

Then he blinks again and the three of them are gone and Nino thinks he’s entirely alone except just then someone leans against his side. 

“Ohno,” Nino whispers. 

“I’m sorry,” Ohno says. But it’s this Ohno so the sorry is for a different reason. Still the word makes his skin prickle. 

“If I stay here,” Nino says. “Can I watch you paint sometimes?” 

“Sure,” Ohno says. “I paint a lot. Sometimes I draw. Been wanting to do some sculpting too...” 

“You can paint and I’ll lie on your sofa and play games,” Nino says. 

“That sounds good,” Ohno says. “You can come over anytime.” 

“I know someone else like you,” Nino says. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Nino says. “He’s just like you. I liked him, but I never told anyone. Then I got really drunk and told him and he told me he was sorry.” 

“Hmm,” Ohno says. 

“So now I think I can’t go back there,” Nino says. “We work together.” 

“Can’t you just move on?” 

“I don’t know,” Nino says. He’s not used to exposing himself like that. There it was, raw and real and he didn’t have any intention of ever telling him because he knew what the answer would be. It was just a stupid idea in Nino’s mind, one that wasn’t supposed to slip out. 

“He’ll move on for you,” Ohno says. 

Nino looks out at the sea. 

“He doesn’t want you to feel bad about it so he’ll move on and you can all move on together.” 

“What if I just stay here instead,” Nino says, turning so he can look at Ohno. He looks so natural here with the soft light of the day growing darker. 

“It’s easier if you do,” Ohno shrugs. 

“Yeah,” Nino says. He leans forward just a little without thinking and maybe it’s unconscious for Ohno too, but he presses their lips together. 

This Ohno doesn’t turn him away. 

This Ohno lets Nino kiss him, lets him wrap his arms around and lets him get down next to him in the sand. It might be this Ohno that’s meant for him. He is this Nino after all. This is it, he thinks. Controlling his fate. Making a choice. 

“I’ll stay here with you,” Nino breathes against Ohno’s lips. 

Ohno nods. They’re side by side on the sand and when they pull back from the kiss, Nino can see the sky moving. The white sky is twisting into shapes like cobwebs and lightening and a huge crash comes from the sky. 

“What is it?” Nino asks. 

“It’s going to rain,” Ohno says. 

Drops start falling from the sky. They’re tinted like watercolor and when they land on his skin there are faint streaks of blues and reds. 

“Your boat,” Nino says, standing up. When he looks out beyond the pier, the boat is sailing away on its own. 

“It’s not my boat,” Ohno says. “Here.” 

He takes off his sweatshirt and holds it up so that Nino can get under it too. The rain falls on the sand in a million hues until it all mixes together to become a complete absence of color. The sky pulses and the wind threatens to tear their sweatshirt shelter away. 

“If it’s not your boat whose is it?” Nino asks. 

“I thought it was yours,” Ohno says. “You came here on it.” 

The sweatshirt is pulled away by the wind and they’re exposed to the elements again. The rain beats on the ground. 

“I didn’t...” Nino says. “I hate boats, I wouldn’t...” 

The boat is drifting out to sea, bobbing up and down in the heavy waves. 

He has to go there. 

“I want to stay here,” Nino says. He’s holding on to Ohno’s sleeve. The wind is so strong it feels like it’s going to pull the two of them apart if he doesn’t hold on. 

He wants to stay on the beach here with this Ohno. If he goes back he’ll have to face the one thing he can’t. The product of his mistake.

“He’ll move on,” Ohno says, the wind whips his hair around and watercolor rain runs down his face. It’s getting colder. 

Nino holds tight to Ohno’s sleeve. 

“Everything will be okay,” Ohno says. 

“I’m sorry,” Nino says, letting go of Ohno’s sleeve and running for the pier. The wood is slippery and his body feels weak and tired. Too much in too short a time. He navigates the rainy pier but the boat is too far for him to reach. It’s floating away, turning into a silhouette again and he’ll never reach it. 

He looks back at Ohno, still standing there on the beach. He’s not moving, not saying anything. He’s not calling out for him to come back or telling him to go. He’s just there. Steady and strong and there. 

Nino runs back just a little for a head start. Then he jumps into the pink sea. 

\---

_Sorry_ is still hanging in the air when Nino bolts out of the apartment. He takes off down the hallway of Ohno’s apartment building. Rain beats against the roof and it’s just as well because Nino wants to make a quick escape. He has an excuse to run out and keep running to the station. 

He’s drunk and he can feel it in his body, in his limbs, the way they won’t move how he needs them to. His legs are unsteady and he can’t quite grip the handrail. 

He’s halfway down the staircase when his hand swings back and something holds onto his wrist. 

It’s Ohno, holding tight. 

“I said it was just a joke okay?” Nino says. “Just forget it. I have to go home, we have work in the morning.” 

“Come back,” Ohno says, so quietly Nino almost can’t hear him against the sound of the rain. He starts to lead Nino back to the apartment and Nino can’t fight it. 

When they get back inside the _Sorry_ is still there in every corner of the room. Nino looks around. This is the first time he’s ever come here and the first time he’s ever seen it properly. It looks just like he would have imagined. Big easel in the corner, hammock chair, spacious but it feels tight and compact. 

“This is important to you... right?” Ohno says. 

“It’s a joke,” Nino says. “Funny ha ha you know a joke.” 

“You can kiss me,” Ohno says. 

“What?” Nino says. “No. I am never doing that.” 

Ohno looks at him carefully.

“Just once,” Ohno says. “Maybe I’ll like it.” 

“You’re not going to,” Nino says. “We’re not doing it.” 

He wants to. With everything in him he wants to, but if he does and Ohno tells him no afterwards then he won’t be able to face him anymore. 

_He’ll move on. You’ll both move on._

He hears the words distantly and looks over to see if the TV is on or something. He shakes his head, obviously he’s losing it. 

“You jumped,” Ohno says. They’re still standing close to the entrance. Nino has taken off his shoes but they slip on so if he needs to make another quick exit it won’t be hard. 

“What?” 

“Out the door,” Ohno says. “You just... jumped out the door I’ve never seen you move that fast other than when we’re on the stage.” 

“Yeah, so?” 

“So I know it’s important,” Ohno says. “And you can do it. And maybe I’ll like it. And if I like it we can give it a try.” 

“And if you don’t?” 

Ohno shrugs. “I don’t know yet,” he says. 

“Right now?” Nino asks. 

“Yeah,” Ohno says. 

Nino moves in awkwardly. It feels like he’s kissed Ohno before but he knows for sure that he hasn’t. Not outside of fanservice or a joke, never a real kiss. But it feels like he’s had a real kiss with him before - some kind of false memory leaps into his head where he’s kissing Ohno on a sandy beach. 

“Count down,” Nino says. 

“Hm?” Ohno says. “You mean like three two one?” 

“Yeah just like that,” Nino says. “And close your eyes. If you don’t like it just don’t say anything and I’ll leave and we’ll never talk about it again.” 

“Okay,” Ohno says. 

Ohno closes his eyes. 

_Three_

_Two_

_One_

Nino kisses him, opening Ohno’s lips gently. He doesn’t want it to be too much but if he only has this one chance then he wants it to be real. He feels Ohno’s breath hitch and his body tense. He doesn’t know if it’s good or bad, it’s hard to gauge. 

He pulls back. Not the most impressive kiss in the world. Maybe he himself was wrong about it. Maybe it was just in his head, these feelings about Ohno. Though the way his heart pounds in his chest waiting for Ohno’s reaction betrays him. 

It takes a while for Ohno to open his eyes. He doesn’t speak which might be Nino’s cue to leave. He’ll count to three again in his mind then after that he’ll leave. 

“Do it again,” Ohno whispers. 

“What?” Nino says. “Really?” 

“I liked it do it again.” 

“There’s no way you liked that.” 

“I did!” Ohno says. “Come on do it again.” 

Nino looks behind Ohno to the easel in the corner. 

“Are you painting something?” Nino asks. 

“Yeah.”

“Can I see it?” 

Ohno nods and Nino moves over to the corner where he can see the easel. The canvas is huge - it almost looks like it doesn’t fit there and if Ohno wanted to reach the edges at the top he’d probably have to stand on his toes. 

“I like it,” Nino says. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah it’s nice,” Nino says. “It’s calm.” 

“I’ll give it to you,” Ohno says. 

“Yeah?” Nino smiles.

Ohno’s hand slips quietly into his. 

The waves settle. Outside maybe the rain stops. 

The painting is of a pink sea. A white sky. A red and white boat navigating its way through gentle waves.


End file.
